Whereas for most people lunch break equals catching up with colleagues or getting in the car for some solitude and a quick sandwich, I often find myself wondering through the hallways in search of a nice room and an even nicer piano to play at. I usually practice for about 30 minutes, up to an hour, depending on how lost I get in the music. After that, it’s BAMMM.. back to reality! Coming back from that place can be quite challenging – almost always is – but that’s just because it’s so incredibly beautiful over there. Those breaks make my day over and over again and so I try to take them whenever, wherever I can.

I praise myself very lucky to have find this job or for this job to have found me. I honestly don’t know a single friend of mine who has the opportunity of practicing during break time, let alone has the luxury of picking which grand piano (s)he wants to play on. I mean, seriously, how cool is that?!

And even if playing means there’s no more time left to eat. I couldn’t care less. There’s truly no food like music.

It had been a while but I could never have predicted being this nervous for it. I left the house slightly hesitant. However, by the time I arrived at the square where I usually go singing, my heart was nearly beating out of my chest. On top of that, there wasn’t a single person in sight. Not one. I had expected the sun and the sales to have drawn out an easy crowd for me but no. I unpacked anyway though, encouraged by the few rays of sunshine.

It would prove to be a hard day. There was some very distracting sound checking going on during my performance, which forced me to put things on hold for a while and led to a couple of listeners leaving. Aside from that, it was pretty cold outside – truth is my feet felt frozen before I’d even left the house – and I really seemed to be suffering from those nerves, which was a rather new and everything but pleasant experience. I was very glad to see my elder sister showing up to keep me company.

However, I must say that even though today’s performance turned out to be challenging, I still really enjoyed it. Even more so after a woman walked up to me and thanked me for singing The Rose from Bette Middler. This song carries a lot of memories, she said. Thank you for singing it. You brought it wonderfully. Those kind words alone, totally made my day worthwhile.

So not an easy day, but definitely a great one! Not getting chased away by police officers certainly contributed to that (Believe me. It happens. Doesn’t matter how good you are, amplifiers on the streets are a big no no here.) as did my sister’s moral support (for which I’m very grateful. She’s such a sweetheart). The fact that I had the guts, at long last, to finish my perfomance with Puccini’s O mio babbino caro finally put the cherry on top of the cake. Sky high and very, very sweet.

And so, even though I can feel my brain activity slowing down by the second – feels more like plummeting, actually – I’m still very glad I deprived myself of that one night of sleep because, honestly, there is just so much to do!! It’s easy to decide to go for it and even easier to make plans but, man, execution is a b****. It’s like when you start renovating a house – not that I have ever done that in my life but I’ve heard other people talk about it so much that I can now easily pretend to be an expert at it, and get away with it. When you start renovating a house, you usually start with a small project. To keep the spirits up, you know. So you take down that first layer of wallpaper to discover a second layer of wallpaper, after which a third layer of wallpaper reveals itself, even stickier and harder to get rid of than those first two. Many people start off thinking that it’s the replacement of those one-glass windows that will ask the most of them and their budget but really, the devil is in the small things. They all look so innocent and easy when you look at them separately, but put together they pile up like nothing. Payback is … well, let’s call it “painful”, sometimes. But then again, I could have started taking action a couple of months ago.

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. To be fair, I can’t complain at all. I’m actually having a real ball with it. I’m constantly discovering and learning new things. I actually managed to create my very own facebook landing page. Me, the girl who had to take her Business Intelligence (all very computer related, all very dusty and boring) exam three times!

You see, that’s what I love so much about passion. At first it almost seems as though it claims my every breath, my every minute of thought and every single ounce of energy but the truth is, I haven’t felt this energized for a very long time. Compared to last week, which, by the way, was all about “relaxing”, I’m walking around 20 times as charged.

Now, ain’t that something …

That’s more or less what my body is like these days. The structure in itself is magnificent and remarkably strong. It’s current state, however, not so much. And as we all know, looks count for up to 80% when it comes to music business. Rules of the game or the industry more like. So it time for some serious restoration!

Dear gym membership card, get ready for some serious abuse.

A former professor of mine would probably congratulate me with it. He would tell me it’s a good thing. You need haters if you want to make it big, he would say. But let’s be honest. Nobody likes to be pissed on. Though I must admit, he has a point there. If you want to make it big, you got to go all out. You got to give it your all and that means taking a risk from time to time. And chances are that you will break a couple of windows along the way and chances are that people will look at you and think well would you look at that. What a complete fool! And maybe you would be, at that moment. But that’s when that very same professor of mine would remind me to fail faster. Because the more mistakes you make early on, the sooner you will get where you really want to be, he would say.

Unfortunately, though all of that might make enormous sense, it does not change the fact that the prospect of successive failure simply doesn’t sound appealing … at all. Most definitely not to someone as perfectionistic as myself. But then again I guess 2012 will be the year that I’ll just have to get over myself and get on with it. Because 2012 will be my year. I’ve always known it and now that the year has come, I just can’t wait for it to begin.

Bring it on poochies. 2012 is mine!